Embrace your Identity

No matter how much confusion you hold in yourself regarding who you are or where you are headed…KNOW THAT YOU

ALREADY ARE WHO YOU ARE. It may sound simplistic, but truly too many people delude themselves and live lives that feel inauthentic, meaningless and miserable. Realize that you are only fooling yourself. Take time to understand why you fight your authentic self.

• Ask your family questions about cultural and ethnic identity. Know that you may identify more strongly with one or multiple ethnic/cultural elements from your history. Note that identity is complex and you can have multiple strands of identity. Different pieces of your life and heritage influence all of who you are. You can be yourself by unifying and understanding these different elements that you connect with most authentically. You can also choose to just be a human being and refuse to categorize your experience.

• Identify traditions that feel meaningful or discover new ones that bring you joy and meaning.

• Take time to find out the answers about your own spirituality. What do you believe and why? Do you believe just because you have never questioned? Can you embrace beliefs that are made up from different elements of your faith and feel more authentic?

• Think about what causes you the most conflict in your life. Enable yourself to examine these areas without fear. Realize that people who fear conflict will be especially vulnerable to having difficulty embracing their selves as they have likely learned that they have to please others at the expense of themselves. Fear of conflict teaches people it is dangerous to be themselves because they hurt or make others angry. This is something that you must work on…get a workbook or seek help.

• Think about the ways you hold yourself back. How do your fears of embracing yourself stop you from living a fuller life?

• Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to target unproductive thought patterns and to quell nasty self- statements that keep you from being who you are in the world and living with purpose. Practice mindfulness, and learn to find meaning in your work and life.

Remember, there is only ONE you, and NO ONE has the right to tell you who you are…that is YOUR journey to discover.

Copyrite 2013, Andrea Herber