Panic to Proposal: Are you terrified to pop the question? Make your Boston wedding proposal easier!

© Andrea Herber 2013 All rights reserved

Through the years I have been fortunate enough to witness many people processing their proposal strategies.

Some felt giddy, and perseverated about engagement rings, and when and how to carry through the most unique proposal….

But...

 there were others who literally became filled with panic and terror.

Yes terror.

We would process their reasoning for wanting to marry the person in question. Everything would add up…everything…except that nasty knot in their stomach.  Obsessive “what ifs” would fill their heads…or a feeling of being “suffocated” or “engulfed”.

So what am I really saying?

• It is somewhat normal to feel some anxiety and minor panic when  choosing that person to go through life with. It serves as the fuel for getting to the proposal and hopefully a good decision.

It is helpful to:

• differentiate between the “good” anxiety that says you are just a bit anxious but you are doing the right thing, and
•  “bad anxiety” that says you are getting married for the wrong reasons and are  ignoring that little voice inside or lastly
•  “old anxiety” that has more to do with historical relationships and experiences.

Old anxiety is the stuff that plays in the background and is not processed:

• the intrusive parent
• the “good boy” who was not allowed a “self” because he was too busy feeling the guilt of having to please those close to him
• the older sibling who had to raise his 5 younger siblings and whose needs were never met
• or the kid who saw his parents fight, cheat or divorce.

These are the things that linger and can play a role in panic attacks, fear of commitment and anxiety. Just remember that you can process the above, and if the person you love brings joy to your world, and if you communicate, process conflict well, share  similar values and  can live with one another’s  imperfections…you may be making the right decision.

In these cases, the intense fear of proposing will likely subside..as soon as the deed is done.

So go out and propose if  you  fancy!

© Andrea Herber 2013 All rights reserved