Why you should treasure rejection: Stop driving yourself crazy with online dating!

© Andrea Herber 2012-present All rights reserved

Online dating sites like Match.com and OK Cupid do not exist so people can torture themselves with…  

• “I hardly got any hits” or
• “they did not reply to my wink” or
• “there are so many how do I….?” or the worst one yet….
• “I feel bad when I don’t feel the chemistry how do I let them down?”

I say…RELAX!!!

Think of  these sites as a big net that can be used in any way that suits you…hopefully to find a mate…but sometimes it can also be useful to meet people in a new city…and to get you out of the house!

If love strikes..all the better!

Helpful Scenarios in online dating:

 View your profile as a tool that works “ in the background” rather than torturing yourself viewing and checking your profile daily or viewing the lack of hits or the many hits from “nightmares” as a reflection of your worth as a person.

 Do not waste your time over-sharing prior to the first date.

People waste time writing back and forth a million times before meeting only to be disappointed that the person they thought would meet them did not come…Chemistry is a strange thing and in the interest of time it is best to arrange a quick meeting over coffee (so you can escape if necessary). Try to arrange a few coffee dates in a weekend to see if there are any meetings that stimulate you and lead you to the desire  to meet again. This way you make practical use of your time.

 Put your best foot forward but don’t lie…

Although pictures should be flattering to a degree..Do NOT post something that does not resemble you…this only backfires.

Be Direct if you are interested

Be Direct but humane if you are not

And the biggest and most surprising Rule of online dating?

Treasure Rejection!

The person willing to watch you grow old is going to love YOU, one should not have to entice, lie and convince. But still put your authentic self forward (with limits of course..no discussing all the nasty ex’s ).

© Andrea Herber 2012-present All rights reserved